Does that make sense? It’s like, those are the moments when I feel aware of what I’m wearing in relation to my queerness. Shelli Nicole: I don’t know if I connect with my queerness through style ‘cos I’m just a silly and hot little femme you know? But I do feel like when I am in queer settings - like a bar that is usually mostly cis gay men (‘cos lesbian bar where?) - that is when my femme fashion is often read as straight. There was this really funny TikTok trend a while ago where queer femmes were like “Turning myself into a Republican conservative” and they would strip away queer identifiers and dress like Republican Christian girls and it was so funny, but so clearly defined the difference between being a straight feminine woman and being a queer femme. Vanessa: I’m wearing a bright floral print caftan that I got at my friend’s vintage shop, LOL.ĭani Janae: I definitely tried to force myself to wear more masculine clothing in hopes I would present gayer, but it definitely did not work for me! I love being a femme and I agree with Vanessa, seeing other fat femmes helped me feel hot and fashionable! People often mistake femme with straight and it’s like NO we are so different! That gives it away - and the fact that I wear exclusively chucks, most of them from the Converse Custom Pride collection.
In fact, right now I’m wearing my Autostraddle “who all’s gay here” shirt, so. Valerie: I do still feel most comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans on the day-to-day and most of my t-shirts are gay. Now I so clearly see my femme identity reflected in my fashion choices and I KNOW that is because of the other fat femmes who created this space if that makes sense? Vanessa: I like that now I feel my clothing expresses my queerness, even though 10 years ago I may have worried that my clothing was “straight girl” adjacent. I do sometimes still struggle with being worried I don’t “look queer” when I wear dress pants and slightly feminine button-downs but also…I need to let that go and trust that anyone who talks to me for more than three seconds will figure it out. But I also didn’t feel particularly butch? So I’ve learned to feel comfortable with being in between. Honestly, it wasn’t until I saw other fat femmes looking amazing and happy in dresses that I started to look at myself and realize that my discomfort was internal, not physical. Valerie: It took me a long time to realize that my discomfort in dresses wasn’t because of my body image issues. Like, when I think about my relationship to my body, my fatness, my queerness, my femmeness… it’s the other fat femmes I saw around me who made me able to even see myself at all, let alone see myself as hot and fashionable. Vanessa: Firstly, I have to thank fat femmes who paved the way. How do you connect to your femme identity through clothes that are for fat people?Īlso, this is our last chat! So I thought we could use this time to dish on all the fun, flirty things we wear that help us feel our most gay and powerful, so you have to drop photos of when you felt your dykiest! Shelli Nicole: Mama was their icon you hear me?!ĭani Janae: I often wonder how other femmes connect with - or project - queerness through their fashion choices. Shelli Nicole: I do agree with the shift but for a long time it def felt like queer girl fashion meant whatever Shane was wearing.ĭani Janae: Shane was the blueprint for the girls! It has definitely shifted but for a long time, queer fashion was considered to be androgynous stuff which was often only made for very straight-sized, thin people.
Welcome back to The Fat Femme Fashion series! A 4-part series of roundtables, where four Autostraddle writers talk about how being fat affects the clothes we wore in the past, and the clothes we wear today.ĭani Janae: Let’s talk about connecting to your queerness through fashion.